47 Quotes by Walter Matthau

There's no such thing as 'too late!' That's why they invented death!

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn’t pay the bill he gave me six months more.

Why don’t you do the world a favour. Pull your bottom lip up over your head and swallow.

There’s no such thing as ‘too late!’ That’s why they invented death!

I don’t mind my wife having to last word. In fact I’m delighted when she reaches it.

I wanted to be a pharmacist. I liked the way our local pharmacist was always dressed in a nice white coat; he looked very calm, you’d give him money, and he’d give you something that you wanted to buy.

I never worked with Marilyn Monroe, but if she’d lived, I think she would have been all right. She would have been President of the United States.

We’re writing a book together. She just finished one. Did you read it? Among the Porcupines?

The first girl you go to bed with is always pretty.