60 Quotes by Whitney Cummings

Sometimes the funnier you are, the more vulnerable and scared you are underneath it all. So I think, for me, comedy was always a defense. It was a weapon so that you can't hurt me.

I'm kind of emotionally dyslexic, and when I feel vulnerable or nervous, I laugh.

In my business, you have so many things going at once - TV shows, projects, movies - and sometimes, things never actually come to fruition.

I had a moment where I was onstage once... As a comedian, you just think, 'Be funny as possible all the time - like, funny at all costs - jokes, jokes, jokes.' That's how my mentality was.

Being known doesn't get you anywhere; it just makes the bar and the expectations higher, especially if the venue wants to charge a certain ticket price because you're known. So people are like, 'I paid $60 to see you, and you're on TV'.

I feel really trapped as a comedian - someone who is supposed to be funny and light, making jokes all the time. But I'm actually in this inauthentic armor.

My body is not supportive of my career. My body has other plans for me. My body's plan is to slowly rot from the inside. By the time I'm ready to have kids, it's not going to be viable to do that.

In the entertainment industry, there is this fear of getting older, because we have high definition television now, and you can see things that the human eye can't even pick up. But the good thing about standup is that the older you get, the funnier you get.

Comedians are obsessed with justice and the truth.