38 Quotes by Will Durst

Everybody says not enough people vote. Now, I don’t know nothing, but after the midterms, pretty obvious to me, that too many people vote.

There is humor in the specter of the worst disaster in our nation’s history. All I have to do is sweep away the debris of shock to find it.

When people talk about how in America, anybody can grow up to be President, I’m not sure George Bush is exactly what they had in mind.

Well, we won the war. You know what that means. In twenty years, we’ll all be driving Iraqi cars.

It’s okay to laugh in the bedroom so long as you don’t point.

The reason the Democrats are so intent on passing a stem-cell bill is they’re depending on the research to grow themselves a spine.

President Bush says we’ve turned the corner in Iraq. What is that, about 16 corners we’ve turned? I think they call that running in circles.

The administration says the American people want tax cuts. Well, duh. The American people also want drive-through nickel beer night. The American people want to lose weight by eating ice cream. The American people love the Home Shopping Network because it’s commercial-free.

Men are superior to women, for one thing they can urinate from a speeding car.