1,171 Quotes by Will Rogers

If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.

I don’t think you can make a lawyer honest by an act of legislature. You’ve got to work on his conscience. And his lack of conscience is what makes him a lawyer.

When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do well, that’s Memoirs.

It’s getting so if a man wants to stand well socially, he can’t afford to be seen with either the Democrats or the Republicans.

I wonder if it isn’t just cowardice instead of generosity that makes us give tips.

If you got a dollar, soak it away, put it in a savings bank, bury it, do anything but spend it. Spending when we didn’t have it put us where we are today. Saving when we’ve got it will get us back to where we was before we went cuckoo.

I have a scheme for stopping war. It’s this – no nation is allowed to enter a war till they have paid for the last one.

I’m not so much interested in the return ON my money as I am in the return OF my money.

The Schools ain’t what they used to be and never was.