1,171 Quotes by Will Rogers

Don’t wait to buy land, Buy land and wait. Find out where the people are going and buy the land before they get there.

All one has to do to get one’s stuff in the Congressional Record is to find a stenographer that can stay awake long enough to take it down. Then you mark in the ‘Applause’ and ‘Laughter’ parts yourself.

Baseball is a skilled game. It’s America’s game – it, and high taxes.

If you can build a business up big enough, it’s respectable.

The trouble with land is that they’re not making it anymore.

We all joke about Congress but we can’t improve on them. Have you noticed that no matter who we elect, he is just as bad as the one he replaces?

We know lots of things we didn’t use to know but we don’t know any way to prevent ’em from happening.

Congress meets tomorrow morning. Let us all pray: Oh Lord, give us strength to bear that which is about to be inflicted upon us. Be merciful with them, oh Lord, for they know not what they’re doing. Amen.

You shake a slogan at an American and it’s just like showing a hungry dog a bone.