1,171 Quotes by Will Rogers

The old horse is coming back in a high lope. Thousands of people are riding a horse today that five years ago couldn’t sit in a Ford with all the doors locked.

Every time we have an election, we get in worse men and the country keeps right on going. Times have proven only one thing and that is you can’t ruin this country even with politics.

That’s what a Congressman or a Senator is for – to see that too much money don’t accumulate in the national Treasury.

President Coolidge said, ‘I don’t want the Government to go into business.’ Well, if I was Mr. Coolidge I wouldn’t worry over that. The Government never has been accused of being a business man.

Technocracy wants to do everything by machinery. Machinery is doing just fine. If it can’t kill you, it will put you out of work.

Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.

Noah must have taken into the Ark two taxes, one male and one female. And did they multiply bountifully! Next to guinea pigs, taxes must have been the most prolific animals.

There are two things I don’t care how smart you are, you will never understand. One is an alienist’s testimony, and the other is a railroad timetable.

Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn’t have to advertise it.