1,171 Quotes by Will Rogers

A comedian can only last till he either takes himself serious or his audience takes him serious.

My ancestors didn't come over in the Mayflower -- they met the boat.

The more ignorant you are, the quicker you fight.

Land taxes is the thing. They got so high that there is no chance to make anything. Not only land but all property tax. You see in the old days, why the only thing they knew how to tax was land, or a house. Well, that condition went along for quite awhile, so even today the whole country tries to run its revenue on taxes on land. They never ask if the land makes anything. "It's land ain't it? Well tax it then."

No man can be condemned for owning a dog. As long as he has a dog, he has a friend; and the poorer he gets, the better friend he has.

Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.

I never yet talked to the man who wanted to save time who could tell me what he was going to do with the time he saved.

The sales tax is the best and most equitable tax. The gasoline tax, which is nothing but a sales tax, has proven painless, productive and punitive. Everything we buy should have its equal proportion of tax, outside of cheap food and cheap clothes.

My father was one eighth Cherokee and my mother one fourth Cherokee, which I figure makes me about an eighth cigar-store Injun.