1,171 Quotes by Will Rogers

One of these days they are going to remove so much of the 'hooey' and the thousands of things the schools have become clogged up with, and we will find that we can educate our broods for about one-tenth of the price and learn 'em something that they might accidentally use after they escape.

A politician is not as narrow-minded as he forces himself to be.

There is not a better day in the world to be spent than with a lot of wise old cowmen around barbecued beef, black coffee and good free holy beans.

There is one thing about Englishmen, they won't fix anything till it's just about totally ruined. You couldn't get the English to fix anything at the start. No! They like to sit and watch it grow worse. Then, when it just looks like the whole thing has gone up Salt Creek, why, the English jump in and rescue it.

If you feel the urge, don't be afraid to go on a wild goose chase. What do you think wild geese are for anyway?

Wrigley was the first man to discover that American jaws must wag; so why not give them something to wag against.

The best thing about this group of candidates is that only one of them can win.

Democrats never agree on anything, that's why they're Democrats. If they agreed with each other, they would be Republicans.

If we took Congress seriously, we would be worrying all the time.