1,171 Quotes by Will Rogers

There is a terrible lot of us who don't think that we come from a monkey, but if there are some people who think that they do, why, it's not our business to rob them of what little pleasure they might get out of imagining it.

We always want the best man to win an election. Unfortunately, he never runs.

One of the evils of democracy is, you have to put up with the man you elect whether you want him or not.

You should never try and teach a pig to read for two reasons. First, it's impossible; and secondly, it annoys the hell out of the pig!.

Don't just grab the first thing that comes by. Know what to turn down.

Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth.

Congress is going to start tinkering with the Ten Commandments just as soon as they find someone in Washington who has read them.

There is no credit to being a comedian, when you have the whole Government working for you. All you have to do is report the facts. I dont even have to exaggerate.

We're all ignorant, just about different stuff.