1,171 Quotes by Will Rogers

We all joke about Congress but we can't improve on them. Have you noticed that no matter who we elect, he is just as bad as the one he replaces?

About all I can say for the United States Senate is that it opens with a prayer and closes with an investigation.

Some guy invented Vitamin A out of a carrot. I'll bet he can't invent a good meal out of one.

We don't give our criminals much punishment, but we sure give 'em plenty of publicity.

See what will happen if you don't stop biting your fingernails

Ability is all right but if it is not backed up by honesty and public confidence you will never be a successful person. The best a man can do is to arrive at the top in his chosen profession. I have always maintained that one profession is deserving of as much honor as another provided it is honorable.

I argue with wife over what little pieces of real estate investments we should try to pay on and hold, and which to let go back. We always said, "Put it in land, and you can always walk on it." We did, but no buyers would walk on it with us.

That's what makes us a great nation. We take the little things serious, and the big ones as a joke.

Spinnin' a rope is fun if your neck ain't in it