106 Quotes by Wilson Mizner

Money is the only substance which can keep a cold world from nicknaming a citizen Hey, you.

The difference between chirping out of turn and a faux pas depends on what kind of a bar you’re in.

Don’t talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.

You’re a mouse studying to be a rat.

The gent who wakes up and finds himself a success hasn’t been asleep.

The most efficient water power in the world – women’s tears.

I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, ‘Have you read – .’

Florida was invented for Addison Mizner’s little brother.

What feeling is so nice as a child’s hand in yours? So small, so soft and warm, like a kitten huddling in the shelter of your clasp.