106 Quotes by Wilson Mizner

There's nothing so comfortable as a small bankroll. A big one is always in danger.

Anybody who can write home for money can write for magazines.

The only time that most women give their orating husbands undivided attention is when the old boys mumble in their sleep.

Easy street is a blind alley.

The days just prior to marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book.

I had never considered marriage, but I had an open mind, and I was to learn after a brief try at it that most open minds should be closed for repairs.

Money is the only substance which can keep a cold world from nicknaming a citizen Hey, you

Florida was invented for Addison Mizner's little brother.

It's getting so people no longer count the silverware when I come to dinner.