10 Quotes by Wodehouse

The Duke of Dunstable had one-way pockets. He would walk ten miles in the snow to chisel an orphan out of tuppence.

What ho!" I said."What ho!" said Motty."What ho! What ho!""What ho! What ho! What ho!"After that it seemed rather difficult to go on with the conversation.

There is only one cure for grey hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

As for Gussie Finknottle, many an experienced undertaker would have been deceived by his appearance and started embalming on sight.

I mean to say, I know perfectly well that I've got, roughly speaking, half the amount of brain a normal bloke ought to possess. And when a girl comes along who has about twice the regular allowance, she too often makes a bee line for me with the love light in her eyes. I don't know how to account for it, but it is so.""It may be Nature's provision for maintaining the balance of the species, sir.

...and, according to my nearest and dearest, practically a half-witted bachelor at that.

I spent the afternoon musing on Life. If you come to think of it, what a queer thing Life is! So unlike anything else, don't you know, if you see what I mean.

...writing Jeeves stories gives me a great deal of pleasure and keeps me out of the public houses.

Golf, like measles, should be caught young.