1,219 Quotes by Woody Allen

How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?

If God exists, I hope he has a good excuse.

I read in self-defense.

Suddenly, one day, out of nowhere, an enormous abyss opened up beneath our feet and I was staring into a face I didn't recognize.

I always took to anything that required solitude...it kept me from having to deal with other humans who, for no explainable reason, I didn't like nor trust.

It's a wonderful thing to be able to create your own world whenever you want to.

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.

It’s a wonderful thing to be able to create your own world whenever you want to.