1,219 Quotes by Woody Allen

Maugham then offers the greatest advice anyone could give to a young author: "At the end of an interrogation sentence, place a question mark. You'd be surprised how effective it can be.

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all things that make you want to live to a hundred.

Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: Frequently there must be a beverage.

There's nothing like the discovery of an unknown work by a great thinker to set the intellectual community atwitter and cause academics to dart about like those things one sees when looking at a drop of water under a microscope.

If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.

Because it's much more pleasant to be obsessed over how the hero gets out of his predicament than it is over how I get out of mine.

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss Bank.

All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.

It's a match made in heaven...by a retarded angel.