I find the thought of my children telling their friends their father is an accomplished author appealing. I used to think that I needed to be famous and write a bestseller to be considered accomplished and I very well may think that again at some later point, but for now in this moment, I sit with a smile on my face, holding tears of joy back, knowing that I am already an accomplished individual and that if I never create a best-selling book, I can still die a happy man.

I create music. To this day, I have listeners and followers spread throughout the multiverse. From Egypt to the Netherlands to Japan; from Daejeon to Gwangju to Dhaka; from Munich to Glasgow to Indonesia to France; from the city of Bemusal, to the Raging Depths, Havastal, and the Sand Hermit Bay. From planet Earth, to planet Annai , to planet Roidio. From the fryadector, Noot, to the tredicidector, Hamstar. From Sector A to Sector Z.

Through my imagination, I’ve conquered worlds, I’ve made superstars swoon, and I’ve saved the transdimensional multiverse.

I hope to find lasting happiness and empower and inspire my fellow beings to also acquire and project their own happiness throughout the multiverse, enabling those ignorant, darkened souls to bloom and experience the blessings of true freedom.

You could say I’ve spent most of my life as a heathen and a hypocrite. I’ve blasphemed God’s name more times than I can count. I’ve sinned countlessly. Through it all, God has always protected me. His love is never ending and ceaseless. In my experience, His love has been everything He’s ever promised. I want you to know that love, because it is the most heartwarming thing imaginable.

You know you're a made man when you've found a job you're so passionate about that the world's sexiest women are undressing themselves in front of you and they've still got to put in all the work if they want to get laid.

I have not lived a lot of my life as a godly man, yet I am writing a godly book. It’s not complicated. The godliest heroes of the Bible were flawed and imperfect. Being realistic, we all are.

So, can I have kids with the bitch before I put her six-feet deep?

I've never been more excited to murder my wife.