4 months and I outlive Jesus!

You know you're a made man when you've found a job you're so passionate about that the world's sexiest women are undressing themselves in front of you and they've still got to put in all the work if they want to get laid.

I've never been more excited to murder my wife.

If there's one thing I have, my friends, it's a gigantic pair of balls and those balls produce sperm that makes amazing, responsible, loving and kind, but ridiculously courageous and tough, badass children. Just sayin', just sayin', because I speak in facts and there are four facts that I need to state and they are one word each: Jayden, Jaxson, Owen and Finley.

Can we hurry up and get some black subscribers, so we don't look so racist?

I'm about to cock-punch that dog.

You know what men do? Run across this bridge, stab this fucker in the dick, roll four times like a legend, poke seven bitches with their phallic-looking spear in the process, heal up with full HP, grab the shitty amount of souls they have and run upstairs in their toga outfit, screaming 'ALALALALALA!'.Make it fun, bitches.

Skeletons ain't shit, but hoes and tricks

Why did I just try to roll up his asshole? That's not a strategy!