All I want is a love like she and Grandpa had. How is that ever gonna happen if everyone sees me this way?”“The ones who truly know you don’t, Em.” Ryanne says, making her way back to the door. “The right guy’s gonna memorize you like a favorite song. He’s gonna play it over and over again in his mind until it’s the only song he can sing. Don’t even worry about the ones who can’t match your beat.

I’ll admit to being a stupid, young girl with a hopeless crush who for some, preposterous reason, won’t give up on the boy she once gagged at the thought of loving. The boy who has a death grip on the shattered remains of her heart, the boy she knows will never give her the chance she craves, as his heart has already been won. The first and only boy she’s ever cried over.

Now that I think about it, haunting isn’t the word. The boy who claimed he hated love songs wrote and sang one so accurate, so accurate that it mirrored everything my brother lectured me about what love should be. He persuaded me to betray my own logic and fall for him. Hard. And yet, falling for him is slipping from a cliff, hurtling to my supposed death, but holding onto a semi-sturdy edge with shaking fingers. Just as soon as I thought we may be headed for a happy ending

As far as he knows, nothing has changed between us. I was indifferent before, and if I’m going to brave the storm, I’ve got to muster those feelings back up again. At least until we get out of here tonight and I can find refuge in the pages of my diary.