In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

BALLOT, n. A simple device by which a majority proves to a minority the folly of resistance. Many worthy persons of imperfect thinking apparatus believe that majorities govern through some inherent right; and minorities submit, not because they must, but because they ought.

diplomacy, n.: The patriotic art of lying for one's country.

AMNESTY, n. The state's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish.

POLITICS, n. A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.

GRAPESHOT, n. An argument which the future is preparing in answer to the demands of American Socialism.

ABSENCE, n. That which "makes the heart grow fonder" — of absence. Absence of mind is the cerebral condition essential to success in popular preaching. It is sometimes termed lack of sense.

POLITICIAN, n. An eel in the fundamental mud upon which the superstructure of organized society is reared. When he wriggles he mistakes the agitation of his tail for the trembling of an edifice. As compared with the statesman, he suffers the disadvantage of being alive.

PICKANINNY, n. The young of the "Procyanthropos", or "Americanus dominans". It is small, black and charged with political fatalities.