28 Quotes by Ambrose Bierce about science
- Author Ambrose Bierce
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OBSERVATORY, n. A place where astronomers conjecture away the guesses of their predecessors.
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PROOF, n. Evidence having a shade more of plausibility than of unlikelihood. The testimony of two credible witnesses as opposed to that of only one.
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RADIUM, n. A mineral that gives off heat and stimulates the organ that a scientist is a fool with.
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RAILROAD, n. The chief of many mechanical devices enabling us to get away from where we are to where we are no better off. For this purpose the railroad is held in highest favor by the optimist, for it permits him to make the transit with great expedition.
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GRAVITATION, n. The tendency of all bodies to approach one another with a strength proportioned to the quantity of matter they contain-the quantity of matter they contain being ascertained by the strength of their tendency to approach one another. This is a lovely and edifying illustration of how science, having made A the proof of B, makes B the proof of A.
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FROG, n. A reptile with edible legs
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ADDER, n. A species of snake. So called from its habit of adding funeral outlays to the other expenses of living.
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APOTHECARY, n. The physician's accomplice, undertaker's benefactor and grave worm's provider
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ARSENIC, n. A kind of cosmetic greatly affected by the ladies, whom it greatly affects in turn.
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