28 Quotes by Ambrose Bierce about science

  • Author Ambrose Bierce
  • Quote

    BODY-SNATCHER, n. A robber of grave-worms. One who supplies the young physicians with that with which the old physicians have supplied the undertaker.

  • Tags
  • Share

  • Author Ambrose Bierce
  • Quote

    DIAPHRAGM, n. A muscular partition separating disorders of the chest from disorders of the bowels.

  • Tags
  • Share


  • Author Ambrose Bierce
  • Quote

    TELESCOPE, n. A device having a relation to the eye similar to that of the telephone to the ear, enabling distant objects to plague us with a multitude of needless details. Luckily it is unprovided with a bell summoning us to the sacrifice.

  • Tags
  • Share

  • Author Ambrose Bierce
  • Quote

    SYLLOGISM, n. A logical formula consisting of a major and a minor assumption and an inconsequent.

  • Tags
  • Share

  • Author Ambrose Bierce
  • Quote

    PROBOSCIS, n. The rudimentary organ of an elephant which serves him in place of the knife-and-fork that Evolution has as yet denied him. For purposes of humor it is popularly called a trunk.

  • Tags
  • Share

  • Author Ambrose Bierce
  • Quote

    MAGNETISM, n. Something acting upon a magnet. The two definitions immediately foregoing are condensed from the works of one thousand eminent scientists, who have illuminated the subject with a great white light, to the inexpressible advancement of human knowledge.

  • Tags
  • Share


  • Author Ambrose Bierce
  • Quote

    NEWTONIAN, Pertaining to a philosophy of the universe invented by Newton, who discovered that an apple will fall to the ground, but was unable to say why. His successors and disciples have advanced so far as to be able to say when.

  • Tags
  • Share