What made our initial bond special is that it felt effortless.

We had not gotten close yet, so if we stopped hanging out regularly, we would fade away from each other's lives. It's possible to go months without seeing a longtime friend and feel close to them, but new friends require steady investment.

How do you want to live? Who do you want to be? These were questions we were answering together.On our respective couches, we told each other of where we had come from, who we had met and loved along the way, and the fears and regrets we carried with us. And in the telling, we started to figure out where we wanted to go.

This is something that separates close friends from mentors or workplace confidantes. It wasn't Ann viewed Aminatou as a guru who knew everything about the art of professional negotiation. What was important to Ann was Aminatou's presence with her in the confusion.

We know we'll rise faster, go further, and have more fun if we do it together.