Some people are just self-motivated - my husband was. I also believe there are many children for whom parental involvement is key.

What the Chinese parent is conveying to the child is not that 'you've got to get A's or else I won't like you.' On the contrary, it's, 'I believe in you so much, I know that you can be excellent.'

My children grew up with one Western parent. My husband doesn't believe in raising his voice with the kids and we don't spank. They were really raised in a half-Asian family.

Chinese parents believe that their kids owe them everything.