Yes please” sounds powerful and concise. It’s a response and a request. It is not about being a good girl; it is about being a real woman. It’s also a title I can tell my kids. I like when they say “Yes please” because most people are rude and nice manners are the secret keys to the universe.

Debbie Downer" was one of the few sketches where I broke, and I remember watching Heratio Sanz laugh so hard that tears squirted out of his eyes. I still believe that sketch may be a cure for low-level depression if watched regularly.

Is there a word for when you are young and pretending to have lived and loved a thousand lives? Is there a German word for that? Let's say its schaufenfrieglasploit.

I have the Angela Jolie of vaginas.

Girls, if a boy says something that isn't funny, you don't have to laugh.

Treat your career like a bad boyfriend. Here's the thing. Your career won't take care of you. It won't call you back or introduce you to its parents. Your career will openly flirt with other people while you are around. It will forget your birthday and wreck your car. Your career will blow you off if you call it too much. It's never going to leave its wife. Your career is fucking other people and everyone knows but you. Your career will never marry you.

[On getting older]: You can witness young people embarrassing themselves and get a thrill--that it's not you. You can watch them throw around their "always"es and their "nevers" and "I'm the kind of person who..." and delight in the fact that you're past that point in your life. Feeling invisible means you can float.

You can only move if you are actually in the moment. You have to be where you are to get where you need to go.

Fake boobs are weird ya'll" read by Patrick Stewart.