No matter how you twist and turn, your ass is always in the back.

All of life is like raindrops on the window; some stick around for a little while and some just fall right out of the picture.

If you don't laugh at the crazy things, you're liable to lose your mind.

Love happens in the strangest places at the strangest times.

Learn to be embarrassed by little and sorry about even less.

I've gotta die of something, but I don't wanna die of it today.

Love's a funny thing, especially with a man who gets paid to put junk in other people's slots. (The Mail Man)

Becoming an adult is all about accepting that you didn't know anything when you were a kid.