I am the illegal alien of commentary. I will do the jokes that no one else will do.

From the people who brought you "zero tolerance," I present the Gun-Free Zone! Yippee! Problem solved! Bam! Bam! Everybody down! Hey, how did that deranged loner get a gun into this Gun-Free Zone?

I love to engage in repartee with people who are stupider than I am.

It’s often said that those who are unduly bothered by gays are latent homosexuals. Isn’t it possible that people obsessed with racism are themselves racist.

But liberals love to drape themselves in decades-old glories they had nothing to do with.

Long before there was discrimination against blacks, there was discrimination against white southerners. When large numbers of these country people moved north during World War II, they were aggressively excluded from neighborhoods, jobs, and homes - not because of their skin color, but their accents.

Liberals Love America Like O.J. Loved Nicole

Like the archers of Agincourt, John O'Neal and the 254 Swiftboat Veterans took down their own haughty Frenchman.

Back when they supported segregation, Lott and Thurmond were Democrats.