But feelings can't be ignored, no matter how unjust or ungrateful they seem.

Then the time would come once more when I no longer listened for the steps on the stairs and felt lonely and cried into my pillow every night.

I feel as if I were about to explode. I know crying would help, but I can't cry. I'm restless.

Believe me, if you've been shut up for a year and a half, it can get to be too much for you sometimes. But feelings can't be ignored, no matter how unjust or ungrateful they seem.