I'm not a comedy writer, I'm a comedian, so I only write stuff that I would want to say.

I was always cutting words. I even would write my jokes in my notebook. I still do this, almost like a poem.

I got into comedy because I wanted to get into writing.

I try to write three jokes every morning, although I don't know what they are. I write them as fast as I can, then I put them away for a month. So I couldn't even tell you what they are, or if they're good. I just assume they weren't.

On Twitter, when someone would die, I would write a joke. Or if there's a tragedy, I would write a joke and tweet it. That was my thing, and then at a certain point, people started demanding it.

Sure, retarded jokes write themselves. But the spelling is always way off.

I would write 100 jokes a day. Most of them were terrible. But I just said, 'I'll write more than everybody else, and that's how I'll get better.'