Parker didn’t so much melt against him as he tried to inhabit the same skin Jake was wearing, and Jake wasn’t going to complain about that.

Jake, if you could stand the idea of getting inked, you'd have a pink triangle tattooed across your chest.

Someone could have told me," he finally said, feeling and sounding both miserable and pathetic. "Oh, honey, I knew you were dumb, but this was beyond my expectations.

Okay, so, you know that photo shoot Parker did a while back?” “The one where he wore the earth’s luckiest pair of jeans?” “Are you lusting after the object of my affections? Because that’s going to make this conversation even more incredibly uncomfortable.

You know, people always look at that headline as me being "outed," but you can ask anyone, I couldn't even find a closet with a map!