More than like it. I crave it. Because there's nausea and fog, but there's also this: an unshakable feeling that something wonderful is about to happen. That's the part I can't explain. No matter how unlikely, I always have a secret shred of hope. And as feelings go, that's a pretty addictive one.

I don't know. There's just something kind of mortifying to me about the intensity of those feelings. I remember them so clearly.

I just wish I knew how to feel about Garrett. This shouldn't be so complicated. It has to be easier for people with penises. Does this person get you hard? Yes? Done. I used to think boners literally pointed in the direction of the person you're attracted to, like a compass. That would be helpful. Mortifying as fuck, but at least it would clarify things.

Gosto do que não tem fim. Gosto de coisas que não terminam.