It is possible for children to learn and improve their eating skills in ways that will automatically lead them to a healthier diet.

In contrast to all the other things we work on in life that are far less likely to increase our wellbeing - including dieting - it is astonishing how little effort we put into changing our eating preferences for the better.

The art of feeding, it turns out, is not about pushing ‘one more bite’ into someone’s mouth, however healthy the food. Nor is it about authoritarian demands to abstain from all treats. It is about creating a mealtime environment where those eating are free to develop their own tastes, because all the choices on the table are real, whole food.

The rise of vast portions - particularly in fast-food restaurants - means that if we eat only the calories we need, we should often stop at half of something; or even a quarter. And no one - child or adult - seems to like the feeling of the glass- - or plate - half empty.

Feeding, like eating, is a learned behaviour and the methods that most parents absorb for doing it are based on the values of former times when a child needed to be protected from scarcity rather than plenty.

The way we reward children with food is based on folk memories of a food supply that has not existed in the West for decades, when white sugar was so rare it seemed to sparkle like snow.

A treat cannot possibly have the same meaning in an era where white-flour cakes are everywhere and candy canes are sold by the dozen for less than the price of a loaf of bread.

We urgently need to invent new models of generosity. We need to find a way for a small portion to feel as much like love as a large one.

The true objective is independence: for a child to reach the point where they can regulate their own intake of food and to choose the things that will do them good while giving them pleasure. Weaning them off milk is one thing. But the real task for a parent is to wean children off needing you.