When people talk about loss, they always say you'll never be the same, that it will change you, leave a hole in your life. ( . . . ) But when you lose somebody you love, you don't lose everything they gave you. They leave something with you.

You were healing. You’re still healing. You’ll maybe always be healing. And that’s OK. It’ll just be part of what makes you you.

Your brain can do amazing stuff to protect itself from pain," Mo tells me. "But it'll struggle to keep secrets from the rest of you for long.

People struggle to see it's not about whether she's going to die - palliative care isn't just a place you go to slowly slip away. More people live and leave than die on our wards. It is about being comfortable for the duration of something necessary and painful. Making bad times easier.

Make mental note to listen to voicemail and change ringtone to something less embarrassing (this one is called 'Jive' and is far too funky for hospice setting. Not that funk does not have role in place of sickness, just that is not always appropriate).