My mom told me she thinks a man in the market felt her up today. I asked, Where did he touch you? She said, On my knee, Bobby.

Saw a man in Whole Foods yelling at his son, What are you doing?! You know I don't eat bread!! Is there such a thing as health food abuse?

Behind every great man in prison is another great man in prison.

The greatness of a man is only measured by his urologist.