The real questions for parents should be: "Are you engaged? Are you paying attention?" If so, plan to make lots of mistakes and bad decisions. Imperfect parenting moments turn into gifts as our children watch us try to figure out what went wrong and how we can do better next time. The mandate is not to be perfect and raise happy children. Perfection doesn't exist, and I've found what makes children happy doesn't always prepare them to be courageous, engaged adults.

I've found what makes children happy doesn't always prepare them to be courageous, engaged adults.

Who we are and how we engage with the world are much stronger predictors of how our children will do than what we know about parenting.

What separates privilege from entitlement is gratitude.

Children experience shame as the threat of being unlovable.

We need to be the adults we want our children to be.

There is no question that engagement requires sacrifice, but that's what we signed up for when we decided to become parents.

Who we are and how we engage with the world are much stronger predictors of how our children will do than what we know about parenting. In terms of teaching our children to dare greatly in the "never enough" culture, the question isn't so much "Are you parenting the right way?" as it is: "Are you the adult that you want your child to grow up to be?

One of the reasons we judge each other so harshly in this world of parenting is because... we perceive anyone else who's doing anything differently than what we're doing as criticizing our choices.