The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.

Daddy, how come in Kansas City the bagels taste like just round bread?

If Lincoln freed the slaves and preserved the Union, how come'Lincolnesque' just means tall?

By the way, did you fellows know that a hummingbird weighs as much as a quarter? Do you think a hummingbird also weighs the same as two dimes and a nickel? But then she asked a question of her own: How do they weigh a hummingbird?

Do my ears deceive me, or can I actually hear the sounds of worms turning? You say a turning worm makes no sound? But how about a chorus of turning worms?