When it comes to being famous, you’re usually the last to know, and the first to deny it. Unless you were already famous in your head. In which case, party on, Wayne! Party on, Garth!

Love is a two-way street constantly under construction.

Luck is the bastard child of Fate and Destiny.

Today I feel like I did tomorrow.

Cool people are only cool for the first thirty minutes of knowing them. After that, they just become annoying.

Girls are always complaining that they can never meet a nice guy. Nice guys are everywhere. The problem isn’t that there aren't any nice guys, the problem is that all of the nice guys are ugly.

If they're not going to respect you, then they best damn well fear you.

Knowledge may be power, but half of what I know I wish I could forget.

Intelligence is being intelligent enough to know you're not so intelligent as you intelligently once thought.