I feel guilty looking at those "People of Walmart" photos you see on the Internet. It's not cool to make fun of pitiful people. You really think anyone who wasn't batshit crazy would walk out of the house in a camouflage mankini and a Confederate flag ball cap to go buy some new furnace filters? No, he's cray-cray.

I braced myself for something wise and useful. Dink, like most Bubbas, could be quite insightful and kind when you least expected it.“Always remember one thing in this life,” he said, pausing to stare at the koala’s big brown glass eyes. I knew he woulda shot it if we were really in the wild.“What is it, Dink? What should I remember? I could really use some perspective here.”“Always remember . . . you can’t drink all day if you don’t start in the mornin’.