I’m not everything I want to be, but I’m more than I was, and I’m still learning.

It was quite a beautiful thing, the way we simply just came to be, with no effort or trying and slowly we found each other’s hands in the dark. No chains or promises, just a simple sign of hopethat things will go on and get betterand that things and people and views are still out there, yet to be found.

You’re going to make something wonderful of yourself. I promise.You’re doing just fine.

I’d like to be an example of no matter how dark and thick and hopeless it feels, for years maybe, things can and will change.

Everything changed when I learned to honour my body instead of fighting it. When I learned to take care of it, like a precious castle to protect this weary heart. To stop harming it, punishing it for looking like this or that, feeling like this or that. I don’t look like they all told me I had to, but I’m healthy and strong and vital. That is enough.

So find your own combination of things to learn and see and be passionate about. Learn from everyone but be your own guidance, and you will find a red-hot feeling in your chest each night, eager for the possibilities of a new day. No one knows your heart as well as you do.

Well, at least this is what I told myself every day as I fell asleep with the fire still burning and the moon shining high up in the sky and my head spinning comforting from two bottles of wine, and I smiled with tears in my eyes because it was beautiful and so god damn sad and I did not know how to be one of those without the other.

So I was a stone in the sea. Gravity gave up on keeping me above the surface. I did not try to swim and so I sank to the bottom with no will to turn back. ”I’m tired,” I told him. ”I’m done”.But he wouldn’t let me and he held me up even on his hardest days and he was a lighthouse when all I saw was darkness.

This world can be quite wonderful once you let yourself be a part of it. It’s on your side, you know?