My heart keeps beating twice my pace and I’m worried about what?I.do.not.know but the anxiety is creeping up and my chest tightens and I lock myself in the bathroom to breathe. I escape wherever whoever I’m with when this happens and I still don’t know why it keeps happening but it does and I just get so fucking sad and worried and unstill and I can’t stop it.

I am a worried person with a stressed out soul, living a simple life with no capital.

I was stressed and scared and I had to hurry to be someone, become something, do something. I was running and talking and cursed myself when I wasted my time on things that wouldn’t get me anywhere. It was work and it was money and I was never where I was, always somewhere else in my head far, far away.

I was never afraid of the dark and I spent my youth walking through empty playgrounds at midnight, worried mothers telling girls to be careful and ”the world is an ugly place and not everyone wants you well”. But I was not afraid and I wished for adrenaline to make my veins pulsate in that way that puts them more on the outside of my skin than inside.After the first night with you I never walked alone at night again because suddenly I had something to lose. Something to save.