He told me just to keep the ball low.

Then Lee Trevino and Jack Nicklaus come in. I'll caddie for Jack.

I don't fear death, but I sure don't like those three-footers for par.

The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil.

Jack Nicklaus is a legend in his spare time.

When I used to gamble, I looked for players with head covers on their irons. Those guys I could beat.

I am a millionaire today and my wife deserves all of the credit. Before I met her I was a multi-millionaire.

After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.

I read the greens in Spanish, but I putt in English.