Relationships should be chosen, not settled for.

The savior complex manifests differently for everyone, but for the most part it's a form of self-sabotage hidden in helping someone else...A desperate need to be understood by people who continue to show you that they barely understand themselves will shackle you to the most emotionally debilitating situations. But it's often deeper than just wanting to be understood. A lot of us want to feel needed, because with that comes a sense of purpose outside of ourselves.

It's important to keep in mind that WE decide the value people have in our lives, which means we can significantly control how much they affect us. It also means we can decide on how much space they can take up in our minds.

Our relationships and friendships often reflect where we are in life at the moment, and sometimes when you evolve sooner than you were prepared for, the only way to complete the process is to remove people from your life who only remind you of the version of yourself you have since outgrown...This is why I am strongly against helping to build men up in a world where they are averse to anything that reminds them of their struggle.

Waiting for 'the right time to leave' can quickly go from months to years without you even noticing. Sometimes we procrastinate out of fear, but remember that the longer you stay, the harder it is to leave.

What does being understood do for you? It makes you feel safe and seen. It makes you feel like your flaws aren't 'that bad'. It enables you. But whilst being around people who make the effort to understand you is beneficial, you still need to inspect yourself. My way of releasing the unhealthy need to be understood by others often comes in the form of me accepting that I am a complex, multi-faceted being - it would be impossible for me to be entirely understood even by myself.

We exist in a world where in the US, the most developed country in the world, for every dollar a man makes, a (white) woman makes about 79 cents. Trying to create false 'equality' by splitting expenses with a man, or taking in a man like he's a rescue dog from a shelter, will always benefit him more than it benefits you, even if you find it 'empowering'. There's nothing empowering to me about sharing my resources with someone who has access to more than I do.