To her, not packing our lunches every day or joining the PTA is a feminist rallying cry.

He's not recruiting me to the oiled-up Gay Bliss Club of Northern Utah, but to the LDS Church.

I can't read him. I can't grasp him. I have no idea what he's thinking and if he's messing with me or if he really is this good, but never before have I wanted so fiercely to learn forward and put my mouth on someone's neck, begging them to want me.