A working definition of fathering might be this: fathering is the act of guiding a child to behave in ways that lead to the childs becoming a secure child in full, thus increasing his or her chances of being happy and fruitful as a young adult.

As an older dad who grew up in a rural culture in the South, certain things were expected of women, and that included raising the children. But I think its just as important for the father to give the baths, to hug, to change the diapers, to tell the stories.

I hope people will like my novels after I'm dead. And I hope my children think about me in good ways, by and large.

Because we men have been physically stronger and more arrogant, weve influenced much of the cool stuff of the world, like basing the definition of courage on what we do on battlefields rather than on the patience or endurance or tolerance necessary for a sometimes painful daily grind that includes small children.