I don't know now if I'm funny. I just keep talking and hope that I hit something that's funny.

I aim to please. I'm nothing if not a vaudevillian.

If you know anything about me - and, if you do, I'm sorry that your life turned out like that.

When I stopped drinking, it was only because I thought if I don't stop, I'm going to die.

If you can't trust, you can't be trustworthy.

If you don't vote, you're a moron.