"A red eight-sided sign always means: A) Stop. B) Go. C) Danger! Red octogons ahead!"

"You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him participate in synchronized diving."

"What's a wingding? Why, a wingding is, uh...it's just like a shindig but without all the hullabaloo."

"Well," Mr. Cheeseman interjected. "Perhaps there's an easy solution to this. Maybe Captain Fabulous has an alter ego.""What's an alter ego?" asked Gerard."It's a superhero's true but secret identity," said Chip. "You know, the way that Superman is really Clark Kent." "Superman is really Clark Kent?""It's pretty obvious," said Penny. "To everyone but you and Lois Lane.""Okay," Gerard conceded. "Captain Fabulous's alter ego will be...Teddy Roosevelt."

"He's getting away you idiots! Shoot him. I'm wearing Spider-Man underpants!"

"The great William Shakespeare said, "What's in a name?" He also said, "Call me Billy one more time and I will stab you with this ink quill."

"You see, unlike most writers today, I do not use a computer. I write the old-fashioned way: on the walls of caves."

"Well, well, well," said Aitch Dee, his arms folded across his chest. "Well, well, well, well," replied Pavel, not to be out welled."

"I seem to be allergic to whatever that terrible smell is," said Gateman when the urge to sneeze had finally subsided."What terrible smell?""The air," said Gateman. "It smells...different.""That's called oxygen," said Professor Boxley. "Freh air. No cars, no buses, no factories; just pure, clean oxygen."

"Captain Jibby looked at the door, clenched his teeth, and worked his face into a scowl so fierce you would think the door had insulted his mother - which, for the record, it had not."