Describe your perfect man who looks like me...

There's only two types of men left in this world. Lumberjacks and Liam Nesson.

You don't gossip while your man is driving. You sit there quietly until you're about 5 minutes from your destination then you say, would you like some road head?

Saw myself naked in front of a mirror a couple days ago - that's not the joke, that's what we called the setup. I saw myself naked, and I said, 'Holy cow, I'm 'The White Man.' I've heard a lot of bad things about you, cracka.

Being an ugly woman is like being a man. You're gonna have to work. Yep.