Let me be clear: I don’t want to make love to a mannequin—I want to make love like a mannequin. Oh, if only I were that animated in bed.


Love is the point where Yes meets Yesterday, and that's why I put the No in Now.


I am in love, and the river is beginning to ice over. I’d better go drown myself before I freeze to death.


I am the Trolley of Love. Free rides before noon and after 11:58 am!


I make love like a snake disguised as an elephant and a donkey. But I mustn’t talk about sexual congress and Congress simultaneously.


In bed, I can go for hours. Oh yes, I love naps.


We made love like a half a minute. I brought the thirty seconds, and she provided the excuse as to why she didn’t have enough time to have sex with me.


My love is sticky, like glue. I'd kill a horse just to give you some.


I make love like sausage is to bacon as brick is to blanket. Somebody get me some utensils. And some lubrication (not Castrol Motor Oil).