Sign at a Tennessee highway: When this sign is under water, this road is impassable.

Dinner Special - Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00

Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.

And now, the Superstore - unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.

Too many rocks in the mountains.

Reflectors need to be placed on trees every 50 feet so people can hike at night with flashlights.

I called a company and asked to speak to Bob. The person who answered said, "Bob is on vacation. Would you like to hold?

A small deer came into my camp and stole my bag of pickles. Is there a way I can get reimbursed? Please call.

Instead of a permit system or regulations, the Forest Service needs to reduce worldwide population growth to limit the number of visitors to wilderness.