There comes a time in a man's life when he hears the call of the sea. "Hey, YOU!" are the sea's exact words. If the man has a brain in his head, he will hang up the phone immediately.

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.

Millions of Americans own dogs, because they are good-natured, simple, and easily amused. I am referring here to the Americans. The dogs are not exactly Mensa members either, but they definitely make better pets than tropical fish.

The books all say that barracuda rarely eat people, but very few barracuda can read.

But if I hadn't shoved you off the boat back there,you'd be lost at sea now,wouldn't you? We'd all be lost! So thanks to me you're all standing on land." (Pirates, its a good thing they're idiots)