It was very quiet at the hotel, as if there had been a death in the family. When you have quit the Tour, nobody really knows what to say or do. (...) Everything I'd previously achieved meant nothing; all I was now was a pro rider who couldn't finish the Tour de France.

The past is as important as the future, but we only live in the here and now.

The smallest issues can become the most important things in life and reality slips away.

What an idiot I'd been. What a spoilt brat. What a bloody fool.

If the riders, governing bodies, teams, race organisers and media weren't doing anything about it, then what the hell could I, a 20-year-old neo-pro from Scotland, do about it?